New and Can't be Returned

When I was told in the hospital and was told that I had MS, I wasn't to shocked. It has been a rough year, since January. So many wierd things that my body was experiencing off and on since I got sick in January. After the Neruologist and nurses explained to me what symptoms I might experience I smiled and was grateful that I had no clue what they were talking about. After I got home and the spinal headache finally went away, the numbness and tingling started. It seems like everything they had told me about had started to show itself. The ability at times to walk was gone. My balance was very compromised and home is where I stayed as I knew I could manage my way around the house and feel safe to not fall, and have things to hold onto. Such an out of body expierence, really. I didn't realize how much I took my body for granted. Simple things for a few weeks were impossible. So this week, I have this NEW thing numbness/tingling that seems to be my new friend; my leg, my arm, my other leg....crazy. It comes and goes but never really leaves. I am hoping that this is part of the recovery form the inflamation in my brian, or the new lesions formed and will cease soon. Whatever the case, this NEW thing cannot be returned! Unfortunatly it is here to stay, hopefully it will make its way to the closet and hang unoticed for a while; so I can properly take care of my family like I used to do.

Lessons we are to learn...Why? I cried all the way home from the hospital. The closer I got the harder the tears fell. How was I supposed to take care of five little children, when I couldn't take care of myself. For the first time in my life I was scared. I had no idea how to do what needed to be done. I couldn't even hold up my head without pain. A few days before the hospital Kevin gave me a blessing, and I remember he clearly said, you have to rely on you parents, your brothers and sisters, your friends and your ward to get through this. I cannot believe how my family and friends have stepped in and took over when I couldn't take even take care of myself.

Even now, I can't make it thorugh a day the same. It is harder than I could have imagined. My will to do all that my family needs is stopped by my body. It physically can't do what I need it to. It is crazy and hard. Yet, the Lord outs angels in my path everyday. My friend has taken my kids to and from school everyday, amazing and without question. My friend came over and spent a few hours cleaning my house, doing my dishes, getting the kids to pick up the house...such love and such service. No questions asked, no judgements placed. I am so blessed. So blessed!

MS

October 1st, 2010 Neurologist confirms I have Multiple Sclerosis. Age 33, mom of 5 small kids 7,6,4,2 and 11 months. Waiting in the hospital for more information. Pumping 1000mg of Steroids in my each day to decrease the inflammation in my brain. I was taking 50mg at home. Keep you updated soon.

Life is Good!

I got a message on Facebook today to pray for a family that I do not know. I clicked on the link which took me to their blog http://patrickandashley.blogspot.com/ and my heart was so touched. Shortly after I started viewing the blog, three of my children came into the office as they heard the music playing and questions began to fly: Who is the baby? Is she sick? Why does she have tubes? Is she going to be okay? Is that her daddy?

I don't think I have ever had such a serious conversation, where my three oldest were so engaged. They wanted to know everything about this little girl and her situation. They were so intent to listen and asked questions to try and understand. Then Alleeda asked if she could say a prayer for her. I expained how the little girl needed lots of prayers right now, and told her how that would help her and her family. The kids came to me a short while later to ask what the little girls name was again, so they could say another prayer; they told me that Heavenly Father does answer our prayers and maybe the little girl would be okay to see her mommy and daddy again.

I am not emotional to cry, but tears started to fall from my face. I am so blessed. So blessed to have such wonderful children. Who are so concerned for others, and know that if we ask, then our Father in Heaven will answer. How silly to be so old, and sometimes forget such a simple thing. I teach my kids to ask and I can help them, why can't we remember that as we get older and life gets harder. I learned today that Life is so Good! I have so many blessings...five of them are with me all day and I am happy. This story just makes you stop and makes you remember life is good, trivial trials are nothing compared to this family and their trial. Pray for their family and for their little girl, pray for a miracle...they DO happen.